4evacraze

haha.. something had juz been proven… its proven tat RYAC cannot do surprise party wan… never ever there’s a surprise party tat works in a totally awesome way… hehe.. its either the organizers screw up the plan or din plan throughout enough or the closely related one with the birthday fella ter-silap cakap-ed something about it… so……………. it has always been a half failure surprise party.. hehe…

we had one with Daphne last last time ago.. how did it went wrong?… me loh.. haha.. apparently she call me on the phone when i was juz outside her house n i talked too loud…. plus.. there’s some stupid dog barking at the background.. LOUDLY… so… hahaha… then it was.. pastor’s surprise party… haha… becoz of her father called her telling her tat there’s alot of ppl at her house… so she kinda figure out also.. then ah… mine loh..mine was consider a success coz i was too blur at tat time but y partly failure… coz they had so much chaos trying to hide me from knowing… n hide themselves from being seen by others who doesn’t know they r going to surprise me.. long story… then. the second year’s surprise party.. went seriously wrong.. haha.. they it wasn’t even a surprise also… n they couldn’t even finish the birthday song… ahaha.. next.. it was.. hmmm… poh mien.. car wash i think… haha.. crazy wan.. she got so so wet splashed by us.. n SURPRISE..! then after tat… oh oh… i forgot chung may.. also a failure… we guessed wrongly wat she’ll do after she reach home.. haha… so went like wats going on rather than surprise birthday.. haha.. last but not least is nally’s… juz pass….. she knew a bit or more about it ady coz she was guessing about it since a few days be4 her b’day… when the day came.. no one knows wat to do… n yup… a failure… hahaha…

anyway… even all was a half fail party… we all had great fun also.. hehe.. good food.. n can remember it for life.. hehe… surprise or not it’s a party anyway.. its to celebrate n appreciate tat very fella… ^^

for me.. i really donot appreciate much on the whole big bunch surprise party.. with lots of ppl known n unknown.. close n not close… in the end have to clean up the place also… i prefer celebrating my birthday with my best frens… frens tat r dear to me.. close frens… juz a day out… visiting places tat we can have fun or fellowship…. talking craps n eating great food.. even it is roadside food.. as long as the companies r great… the trip will be great… juz going some place where i always long to go.. or places tat may interest me.. haha.. my birthday rite?? haha… well.. if it has to be a surprise thing… then.. i would prefer surprising me in tis way.. i would really hope frens tat i love n care will spend the day with me in a meaningful n FUN way.. hehe.. anyway.. different ppl have different ways of liking how their birthday should be celebrated… ^^ one of my fren told me be4.. who cares bout birthdays… as long there’s lots of presents.. everything’s fine.. haha…

so.. i cherish my fren’s birthday.. becoz i know i would love to spend it in the most happiest way ever… so.. i hope they will too…. here’s some pics on nally’s party…

:: i somehow find joy in things tat remind me of sorrow past.. with the helps of frens.. i can slowly climb up again.. will u do tat to the ones u care also.?___jo”~ ::

yesterday is the day where Malaysia’s longest pasar malam is open.. after long staying in subang jaya.. i juz cant resist myself from going there since its my holiday now.. so.. a few msg-es out to my frens n the plan is on.. so the whole group was me, poh mien, ping hean, ruben, shin wen, chai siong, joanne, yu li, mun chin, azt n yong han.

so the first thing is to find food.. n yeap.. all vote for asam laksa… though i wanted to eat pan mee… when we’re eating.. chai siong n ping hean were talking bout shit.. not to disgust us but they were juz talking bout it… about their fren who shitted in class when he was ask to stand n read something.. n… walah..! the shit drop down….. “yucks” ok… so how was our feel…? half of us were use to it dy.. coz of them.. half… couldn’t take it more.. close their ears n eat.. hahaha… then… we were out hunting for more food.. hehe.. as those who went to tat pasar malam be4.. u would know how pack it is.. n how we’ll have to walk from one end to the other… ^^ .. so.. train it is.. each have a guy in front opening the road.. n the rest juz hold on to their baju n….. well.. sight see-ing.. hahaha..

i have Ruben in front of me.. he is super damn tall.. im juz until his chest.. so.. i’ll have to yell up to him..”ruben.. doooo youuu seee pinkyyyyyyyy…??” haha.. or “next destination… the bank..” then me n poh mien they all will juz talk n talk n laugh n laugh n buy n buy n eat n eat… hahahaha….

so.. wats the fun of going to pasar malam? rubbing each other’s hand n wet shirt… n disgusting smell of tau fu…. haha… juz another way to spend time with frens… how often u get to shout to ur fren to talk..? hahaha… how often u get to do some crazy stuff in the middle of crowd with ur frens… how often u get to eat alot of things u wanna eat n u dun have to finish it becoz the rest of ur frens will help u to… ^^ hahaha… so.. tats me, poh mien n ping hean’s pass time thing to do.. now we have more to join us dy..

:: i have fun.. how about u?___jo” ::

tis year i had been looking forward do long for our youth camp.. even spend my birthday searching for a good campsite.. finally came to the day where i get to know tat i couldn’t be able to join youth camp.. sudden disappointment but i was in great faith tat i can join.. tat god will make a way…. ^^ ends up being here in kl taking exams rather than joining the rest of them in melacca n in fun… was heavyhearted.. superly down for the whole week nearing camp.. coz i have never miss youth camp before.. n tis year its a place tat i like.. a pastor tat i know n like…. n i’ve been quite away from my frens due the reason tat i’ve been staying in subang coz of college study… n i really wanted to be with them n take the time to catch back wat i’ve miss out.. so… i had been emo-ing for the last 2 weeks… plus 2 major assignment to rush up n exams to prepare… the 2 weeks was unbearable… luckily there were frens who accompany me through it… ^^ ( thanks to kerryn, ccf, doi n bff )

so on the day of my last exam, i finished my paper damn fast n went off the melacca to join them… was super excited.. n nervous too.. coz i din know wat to expect.. by the end of the day… i had the greatest lesson of all…( the cross tat jesus beared… the way to heaven… our walk to heaven……) an activity to bring out tis lesson was by carrying a fren on ur back n bringing ur fren to the heaven’s gate n convince the angel tat u deserve to go to heaven… i did not join coz i was the time keeper.. the half evil wan to send them back from the gate of heaven to the earth… to see them working so hard n so tiring… it hurts me deeply.. as their leader n as their fren n sister….. i feel so pitiful towards those tat were physically hurt n weaker ones… to see them carrying another fren on their back n walking towards the heaven’s gate n being sent back juz breaks my heart.. those tat r dear to me even hurts my heart more… everytime they r sent back… my heart juz fall a little bit more… being the time keeper even distress me more.. having needed to say ‘plz go back’ everytime they dun pass make me so guilty n upset me wholly…. i felt tat somehow maybe tis is how god feel.. when he see ppl turn their back on the cross.. when he have to say plz go back when we reach heaven’s gate…. i myself cant say bravely tat i’ll pass…. but i know… if pastor din say tat the time will be extend n its only 2 hours… if i havent pass the gate after one hour… i think i would have break down n cry so badly dy…. by the moments tat the time is ending… i think i would have cry out a river n confessing every single thing in my life n hugging everyone tat i like.. dislike.. hated some time ago.. jealous of…. n so on…. things might be different then… but one could not be sure wat would happen if u were really in tat situation…

anyway… it was a heart pressing game… a game tat anyone would have learn alot from it n experience some unforgettable moments… ^^ i guess i din miss out tat much too… after knowing tat God has his purpose in it… n his purpose for not letting me join camp… i feel relieve n grateful also… of everything tat has happen n wat i have to go through to make me realise something tat i would never know if i went through the camp… so.. a great shoutout to God… THANKS….!!! n thank again to leaders tat make tis camp happen… n happen awesomely… hehe… everyone loves it… n learn alot from it… claps to the leaders n committee… ^^ thanks to frens tat accompany me through it… thanks to those tat love me n i love u guys too……

:: sometimes to discover a new thing, u must go through road tat u’ve never been through.. by the end of the road u’ll discover many hidden beauties… its ur choice of seeking it or ignoring or complaining it.. ::

:: i had a tremendous road trip… have u..? ::

today had been a good day for me… went walking in sunway pyramid with PH n fetch PM from coll n went to makan big feast… hehe… we ate at restaurant telepon.. a eat all u can steamboat buffet…. hehe… because of the good frens with me which made a real good company.. my day ended with a smile n its a complete fullstop… ^^ good frens r always wat i’ve treasured all the time… n they r indeed my real close good frens…

tats y in my life… after god n family… frens is crucially important to me…. always cherish them… often we fight alot… quarell big time… but still we are always frens… recently i have juz found a fren or to say a sister tat i have been missing out last time.. i have been jealousing alot on her coz of something… n she too dislike me.. but now… both of us had face to face confess n forgave each other… n i believe the days to come will be astounding… coz i know deeply in my heart.. she’s a great sister, great fren.. n an awesomely caring n sweet fella… so.. with frens like her… ur days r much warmer than usual… ^^ im lucky… hehe… loving the days coming…

i’ve also found a good little brother whom i wish he would have been a few years older… hehe…. god knows wat will happen if he were a few years older… damn…. hehe… anyway… he’s now my cute–tremendously sweet-superbly tall-loving fren…. hehe… i shall have him as mine since he’s not taken yet… wakakaka….. *evil* shhh…..

apart from tis… i’ve recently recovered my relationship with my doi doi… hehe… dunt hink wrong.. we’re juz frens… its juz i have been angry with him for the pass few weeks… y..? dun ask.. hahaha… gonna value it also… hopefully with ccf too….

-pooh.. waiting for u to come back oh..^^ -

:: im obliged to have frens tat loves me.. i tresured every minute n second with them ::

_its a long journey to walk alone… i’ve found my company.. have u.?__jo”~

yesterday…. the day of all day… it was so hactic.. tat i was stressed up in the end of the day..

early in the morning around 5.20am.. my alarm woke me up… like usual i would juz snooze it.. every 10 mins it would sound… finally it irritated me enough tat i sat up.. i was so blur… i decided to take a bath.. morning bath… n note tis tat… my house do not have a water heater.. ^^ … man i was having a good time jumping inside the bathroom… haha.. the cold water made me out of breath.. haha… n i was AWAKE..! so we had a slow walk to college.. n i really feel like a factory worker coz we were all in our segi shirt n its blue.. haha…. imagine a bunch of ppl wearing blue walking early in the morning on the road.. haha.. then we were stuck in KL JAM for about an hour till we reach Sentul girl school….. we went in n the memories juz overwhelmed me… memories of high school…. the time when we r still in skol uniforms… the hate n love of uniforms.. baju kurung.. hehe…. then we had lots of fun… lots of activity… then we were laughing.. shouting.. running here n there lah… which makes jolene ng hungry…… very hungry…. in the end we took lots of photos.. then another half hour journey back college…

when we reach college it was around 11.30….. then we ate our lunch n had some reflection time together… then we were off for a meeting… a meeting to prepare a sketch for next thursday… damn we were so tired… our face r all written out-we’re tired… haha… straight after tat.. we had a class… play n learning class… by tat time…. most of us were dozing off…. haha…. luckily we had a playtime with the shaving creams… a hands-on play…. to stimulate our sensorimotor n creative thinking while play… so we were having a crazy time playing with the creams…. hehe… then we added in some food dye… some had the creams all over their face, shirt n so on… hehe.. then after tat…. lectures start… tat time.. kerryn was closing her eyes dy… u can c tat her eyes r mostly wondering off somewhere… like dreming dy…. the other side of the class were very noisy… none were paying attention dy… well.. except for Raymond.. which annoyed me alot.. asked way too many questions….!!

we had our class off early becoz our lecturer knows tat we were very tired.. once we were home.. i went for a bath… put on my specs… n started with assignment…. hahaha…… man… by tat time.. i was stress… coz there’s so much to do… so much to read… so blur of wat to write…. i really cant take it… then my buddy showed up… he bought food.. n guess wat,… Subway..!! n Fries…! … after all the fries.. i continued on with my assignment…. me n michelle were like cursing the internet coz it was bad n tearing our eyes apart to stay awake….. until around 12 am… we both chose to sleep… i went in the room… continue a bit more of it… check some facebook stuff… n finally slept at 1 plus…

yesterday everything was so packed up n i was so tired.. i wanted ice-cream badly.. haha… i dunno y… n i was telling my ccf… i really feel blue.. like rainny day dy… n his reply comfort me so much… he said a prayer for me.. which… touched me so badly… eh… first time he pray for me leh… haha… swt.. anyway… the best gift from someone is their prayers for u… ^^ … so… i finally calm down n hit the sack.. thanks to those tat care for me.. well.. today.. hopefully my lecturer check her mail n reply me.. n hopefully my assignment is not rejected… if not………!!!!!! i will cry… hehe…

-some comforts make a big difference in my day___jolene” -

after i’ve been studying tis course… one phrase tat i can still remember clearly from my lecturer.. a phrase tat made me think back n realise… where’s all the fun times gone…? she said.. ” children play to learn…. n we.. adults… learn to play….” many of u might have all the question marks popping up dy… i shall explain…

remember last time when we were little kids… we play lots kind of stuff… like masak masak during mooncake festivals with all the candles n leaves n sand n stuff…. how about the time when we pretend to be a teacher, or a doctor… a vet… we play all kinds of stuff.. n we were actually LEARNING… learning through play… through all these kind of games.. we know to to give n take.. how to let others have a try to become doctor.. how to line up n take turns… we also learn the process of stuff… like cooking.. teaching a class n so on… we have arguments n disagreements… but most of the time… we juz enjoy ourselves so much… sometimes we even step out of boundaries… those r real laughters… real fellowship with frens.. real time of enjoyment……………………

now.. as teenagers… as grown ups… we do have funs… but sometimes.. i even doubt the laughters…. the smile… the ‘fun’…. was it all real? or was it juz because we needed to be INVOLVED… we now Learn to Play…. how so..? well.. we now learn to have fun… learn to release ourselves.. learn to not think of all the stuff tat r yet to be done…. learn to mingle around with the rest… learn to take charge… learn to give n take… learn to control…. learn to follow the rules… learn to not spoil our image…. learn to win… learn to not jealous…. learn to give in…. learn to not cry….. learn to stand up n smile……………………………… n so n so.. we sometimes r so packed up with all the emotions tat we forget how to have fun….

well….. i do doubt myself sometimes when i smile… sometimes when i laugh or sometimes when i am calm… was it juz smile tat i am so immune to wat is going on… was it juz a put on laugh…. was it a tears.. but being wipe away……? i miss myself… miss my smile… the pure smile… miss all the companies tat i had with me… miss being around with them…

so………………………….. although i am all pack up with assignments, work, planning, confusion, decisions making n stuff…. i wanna be a grown up tat knows have to have fun… tat will always wear a smile n put on other’s smile… ^^ i always say i miss so n so….. tis n tat so very very much… haha.. but i’ll try not to miss lah (i cant gurantee on it.. but try is good enough)…. n adapt to my current life…. *cheers to jolene*

-footsteps of mine… wats urs..? ____jolene” -

firstly my very best wishes n prayers to Patrick n Jessy… congrats.. Praise the Lord for a healthy baby gal….!! little Amy was born on tis earth on the 30th of Oct…  a prematured baby.. suppose to come out around december but she’s too anxious to come out n c the world…^^ the poor mom suffered 17 plus long hours to gave birth to her…. hehehe…. anyway… thank god tat although she’s a prematured baby.. she’s very healthy n her lungs r strong enough to breath on her own… very cute gal… heard tat she’s also very loud… when she cries.. haha.. like parents like daughter..

next is to wish all the SPM candidates all the best in their exams….. to dearest rachael siew, weng luan, joanne, edwin…. hmm… who else…? then my my ccf n doi doi… all the best also.. dun give up..! n…. ahahahah… i cant wait to c ur hair style… hehehe… need to cut short to take the exam rite… ^^ miss ya guys so so much….! 

then to one of my old fren jeffrey khoo… dude… hope u’re doing fine in ur new job.. all the best to u… JIA YOU ah…!! n eat all the penang food for me… haha… erm.. laksa is a must.. prawn mee also… then the mua zi….. must must must..!!! hehe.. miss ya..

next to my best fren.. pooh pooh..!!!!! how r u ah… aiyo… still got… if im not wrong… 20 days ah..? cannot wait dy,…. do well in ur exam ah… jia you ah…! n u must eat ah… dun lazy then skip meals ah… if not when we take photo then not nice le… too much contrast… hahaha… jia you jia you…!!!

jeffrey lai.. my cousin bro… I MISS U SO SO SO MUCH lah……….!!!!!!!! so long never c u dy…. u should be fatter than me now… hahahahhaaaha…. anyways.. miss ya company lah.. hehe… i wan huggies..!! oooh.. u owe me tomyam..! ^^

to ping hean.. my buddy… u ah… dun always work work n work ah… must take some time for urself also de… or maybe u do take some time for urself but i dunno only…?? hmmmm…. hahaha…. anyway… u very long time never come church le… everyone thinks u die liao lah…. haha… u better show ur face in church soon… if not i think they’ll start asking me wat flower u like dy…. haha…

lastly… to you-know-who-u-r…… good luck in ur exams…! work hard k… i wish all the best for u n hope u’ll do the best… i’ll keep u in my prayer… n sorry for the last few weeks…. i try not to repeat it anymore next time so tat u wont have to train to sing tat song again… ^^ … u always very ‘tao hua yuan’ wan.. so……. i sometimes also ‘xin bu shu fu’……….. haha…. erm.. sorry.. giving u the best wishes of all…. n also… hope u’ll get a very good pretty gf… haha…. get le must thank me oh… haha… hugs..!

around 1 something while i was in my room studying n watching movie….. suddenly there was a special guest invaded into my room.. ‘buzz…. buzz……’ i lifted up my head n omg…!! i was awake.. more than awake… i was surprise.. shock n freaking-scare..!! it was a flying COCKROACH…!! i rush out my room n puff…. well… tat fella park himself on my curtain.. n it was huge-big-ugly-dirty-extremely large… my housemate michelle came out… i saw her n both of us was atonished by it..!! staring with amusement we stood 5 feet away from it.. michelle called her bf n he too was scare… coz it was big… he took a cloth n try to catch it…… obviously he did not succeed… if not my blog would have ended here… it was smart… super smart… n fast n active… he tried lots of times but couldn’t catch it… super smart it wait for the opportunity to save its butt n ran to places we cant find… so after half an hour of struggle n screaming n squitting… we ask another fren to come up n help… with his weapon-sheltox… we were relieve…. but now…. we lost tat little but big fella…. we hunt the whole room.. flipping every each thing inside my room we still could find it… i took out all my pillows n blankets scared tat it would run over it…. after 1 hour they couldn’t find it anywhere n assure me its gone out through the window…. but i din want to go in… Janu-another housemate came with the spray n spray my whole room….. suddenly……………………….. it drop down under the bed….. she scream n ran out.. haha… u should c her face… hilarious gila… (ok.. i shouldn’t be kutuking her.. she helped me catch it) so the 2 guys went in the room again hunting for it… tis time it was dizzy n more clumpsy… my fren took the broom n smash it… it pening n could walk dy… hahahahahahhaha….. (jolene smilling so happily) then all of them took photo of it… our Mr Smart little fella is now lying there with legs up n dizzy…. it couldn’t do nth anymore….. hahahaha…… so Janu sweep it out of the house… which i dunno where.. i was too happy to care bout it anymore….. then a satisfiying face gloom in each one of us…hehehehehe…… so happy… n the official time was 2.45am…. now i can sleep….!!!! thanks to my rescuers…!!

today’s 2 days before my first sem exam starts…. should be a hactic period since its exam n obviously there’s alot to read.. but early in the morning i woke up lazily..lying on the bed refusing to get up…. finally around half past 9 i got up n bath… i washed my clothes also.. then i made my way out of the house.. since i was looking for a place to study n a time to relax…. i went to college’s library… settle down myself n study…. then i went for lunch.. sat in subway ate n study also… by now u can c tat i did study… n was studying everywhere i went… then i went to cold storage n grab some groceries n head back home wanting to study… in the end i ended up watching 2 movies n digging for food all the time… =) i have 13 sets of notes to study n i juz did 3… till now its 10.42pm… n im blogging… hehehe….

well….. i made my day relaxing.. though i have lots to do… but i was trying my very best to keep everything calm n stress free… yes… i manja myself too much..

sometimes i may think its becoz im lazy tats y i gave excuses of being like tis… but the fact is im always a person tat cant sit still n cant concentrate on studying or lecture for more than 45 mins the max… so when im in class.. the most i concentrate is juz 40 mins… then i would start to wander off.. i would make way to the washroom or something to get myself out of there n then refresh or change the view for awhile then get back in again… nowadays i have also been wanting badly to go out… to go for movie, sing k, shopping n do some catching ups with frens… but time does not allow…. i have had a distance with all my ‘necklaces’  dy… feeling sad i always miss them n missing very badly……. sitting in room most of the times made me immune to being alone… but deep within me… there’s an urge to pick up the phone n call them n tell them i miss them…. hmm…. so… i rather manja myself more than to feel cold, blue n stress for exam…. i have always been worried bout exam…but… tend to juz keep it to myself n lock it up in my dowan-to-expose-nor-feel-box (DEF box)… well.. be it a relaxing day… i still have lots to do n clear up…

miss ya guys…..!!

How have i been.? seriously i so not know how to answer that.. ^^

yesterday nite i had been sitting up in front of my lappy till 2 plus.. y..??!! plainly simple.. those STUPID-IDIOTS-NO BRAIN ppl staying above me was blasting their radios with some disco style songs.. i can feel the bass, can hear their gigantic-king kong like footsteps n their ‘Cruealla Devil’s laughters… if i were to be brave enough.. they would have kena splash by coke-thrown by eggs-flooded with rubbish at their doorstep n so on…….. by mind u..!! im a good christian… hehehe… c.. now im awake n writting blog… pathetic wei…………. sob sob…not tat im a good gal n wake up early… its becoz my room is hot in the morning becoz of the morning sun.. practically my room is like an oven during morning… other than tat i have 2 assignments to finish.. so have to wake up early lah since nite brain dun function at all de… ( now… y am i still blogging here…?? -_-" )

basically now when some long lost frens or some long time no see frens says hi… the next thing (well we all know usually we dunno wat to say dy ) they’ll ask how r u or how’s ur life…. i very ‘pc’ ppl ask like tat le… (wats pc..? ‘pek cek’… in hokkien.. means like geram or dun like or angry.. something like tat ) coz i seriously dunno wat to answer.. college life to me is like… i dunno….!! i am either in college or at home.. well the sad part is my so call home is my hostel lah.. so to zoom in futhur its juz my room… zoom futhur more its juz a corner of my room.. coz im sharing room.. so.. no tv.. no entertainment.. no car… no buddies to go out with… im stuck with my lappy n my bed… hahaha… so basically the house needs to be clean n my housemates…. erm… they do do something.. once in a blue moon… but usually i cannot tahan be4 they do.. so i usually do the cleaning kitchen n frigde thing.. haha..

so.. let me tell a bit bit bout my college life.. my college is in between 2 large tall building which makes my college very small.. ^^ though its small.. its cute.. like the ppl studying inside.. hahahaaa…. swt.. anyway.. the course im studying is all about children n nth else but children.. so by the sound of it… u can guess how many guys r there in my class lah.. haha…. 3 out of 47.. i think… or izit 53..? haha.. cincai lah.. n 3 of them also… erm.. hahaha… so i actually never c any other guys n i mean like guy frens in coll till now…  so.. ppl say coll u get to meet lots of ppl… get to hang out n go out alot in a coll lifestyle… hehhe… i dun quite get tat part of coll life.. coz ppl in my class.. they r either study freek or aint my hang out gang…. n mostly all of them r younger than me.. much younger than me.. haha… so diff mindset n thinking also… enjoy diff stuff also… ^^ oh… i din tell the part where i am like stuck with indians n indians… coz my coursemates which is also my housemates r indians.. n their frens r also indians.. their bf also indians… so if… if lah.. if really we go out to malls or makan… im with a bunch of indians… haha… not to say i dun like or anything… they r good frens lah… but when they start their talking in tamil… there goes lah… n now tat i stuck quite some time with them… some ppl even thinks im indian or malay or something.. hahaha….. i usually gets it.. but now its worst… hahahaha..

not to say i dun enjoy at all my life… but since im an active-cannot sit still-always like to go out like shopping(window shopping mostly), catch movies, sing karaoke(i really miss tis), yamcha-talk super weird stuff n so on… so… i miss going out n hanging out with frens… missing making stupid jokes.. n creating weird stuff playing crazy games n stuff….. miss being crazy….. ^^

so how..?? u tell me lah wat to answer next time when ppl ask me tis question again… hehe… so i guess tis is my life now n i have to make the best out of it…. n turn it into a life tat i enjoy the most…!! can i hear a ‘yeah..!!’..?