4evacraze

A kindergarten student told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her student. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT?!?!?!” the teacher yelled in shock. “You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little gir l raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy Shit! A talking chicken!’”

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.’” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus.

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. “Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked. “He died and went to Heaven,” the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, “Did God throw him back down?”

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, ‘Good morning Alex.’ ‘Good morning Pastor,’ he replied, still focused on the plaque. ‘Pastor, what is this?’ The pastor said, ‘Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.’ Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, ‘Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?’

many have asked n many have answered… many have forgot n many have ignore… many have try n many have fail….

many have i given out… but non taken back…

special thanks to weng luan n kuan chin for the box u gave.. thanks to joanne for the collection u had added into… thanks to reuben for the care n wishes tat u gave so much.. thanks to PH for knowing how i feel… thanks to david for at least asking n planning to buy me something..

wat is tis all about…? my 21st birthday.. 10 days had passed since my birthday.. it had came n gone as if tat it wasn’t my birthday at all… as if if tat day was juz another day.. yup.. it was.. n i guess it had always been.. at least tis time i’ve set my heart not to expect anything at all.. n really nth at all.. not even a present.. not even a meal…. not even a hug tat says we’re here for ur birthday.. well… 10 days had pass… its too late dy… heart had crushed… tears had cried… hope had gone…

y make a fuss about it when u r not gonna do anything about it….. saying tis n tat n everything about my birthday be4 it happens like u really mean it…. but… i guess not… although im far away at tat time… n i were always reluctant to go sandakan becoz of tis… but now… i guess i would be even more crushed if i were back here… at least over there i get sincere wishes from ppl there, went to c crocodile n lots of things to do get tis birthday ting out of my head…

y is it such a big deal to me… it has never been.. until i finally ask the question….. where have all my frens been?

~something i’ve ponder for long.. before n after….. it has always been deep down inside me.. but words disappear when i think bout it….. ~

picking up the phone looking at a familiar name msg me… ‘my grandma is in critical period, she might be leaving soon but i cant go back to c her… very sad’

having known tis fren for quite some time, i was actually speechless.. not good in my words i replied her… trying my very best to say the rite thing…

tis msg tat came n the rain tat was pouring out there… made me look back into an old memory… a memory i was too young to feel too sad bout it until now it make me wonder how if she was still alive…. a memory of my own grandma passing away… i have not have any grandparents since young… all have pass away except for my grandma.. as much as i know she loves me very much.. i love it when christmas comes n we all would go back to her house n under the big christmas tree r all our presents from our relatives…. n everyone would gather on christmas eve n open the presents together… its so much fun then… but after she had gone.. we never spend a christmas together anymore….

i can remember tat she pass away when i was in my primary 4 or 5.. we had to rush back hometown becoz she was in her critical period.. daddy they all were in the hospital tat nite n i was resting at home.. the next morning everyone acted normal.. until suddenly my cousin sis picked up a call…. after she put down the phone she couldn’t talk.. she was crying so badly tat everyone knows wat had happened.. i never even c her for the last time… in fact for a long time i haven’t seen her… coz my parents wont bring me to the hospital when they go visit her…

the only day i remember was tat we were having the funeral service.. the time when they wanna close the coffin n nail it…. it was the worst sound i ever heard…. every each time they hit the nail into the coffin…….. my heart juz sank… another hit juz make it worst… it felt like a thousand minutes going on.. everything were in slow motion.. n another hit…..  the feeling was so clear till today i couldn’t get the image out of my head…

the last day we went to the cemetery.. when the coffin is being slowly placed into the hole…. the rain started falling.. one thing my uncle said made me remember till today.. n maybe tat is wat makes me today.. wat made me how i feel towards rainny day….. he said.. “dun have to cry anymore… God is crying for us…” he knows how we feel… n he is more upset than us seeing us cry… or  maybe he wan us to feel better so he cry for our behalf… or he juz wan the make the weather cooler for us…… i dunno… but till now… it has always make me have stronger feelings on rainny day… memories keep pouring during rainny days…

~ r u sad? maybe its crying for u now… ~

wats amazing is when u find out wat the little children can do and cannot do… they have such little hands and most of the things we think its so easy.. it seems so hard for them… for example juz picking up a marble… or zipping the bag…

tis morning, tis little kid named chun came to skol with both hands fully occupied.. he was holding a tupperware with his left hand n 2 nestle chocolate on his right… he sat down on a chair n a teacher open the tupperware for him becoz he refuses to let go of the chocolates…. hehe… i saw tat there was 3 biji of black purple-lish kind of stuff inside tat small tupperware… i walk forward when he started eating n found out it was grapes…. haha… he use his 2 fingers to take up one grape… i dunno if he wasn’t awake yet or he really do have difficulties taking the grape.. but it took him quite a few seconds to actually take it up n put it inside his mouth… so it took him about 15 mins to eat 3 grapes… n tats all for him… ^^ 3 grapes… for us… eating 3 grapes is like we never even ate anything at all… but for them… its enough dy..

after he finish i asked him to keep his chocolate in his bag for snack time later.. he stood up n pull his bag down… with one hand occupied… he had only one hand to take out his bag from a basket… then he open the bag n put his chocolate in.. when he wan to close his bag.. he struggles.. he couldn’t close it.. he was getting frustrated and his face were red dy… i lend him a hand n a simple pull it was zipped…

those little hands are gonna be growing bigger n bigger every each day… one day it will be like ours… one day they will grow up forgetting how little they were… how helpless they were…. looking back now.. i cannot remember wat i had done wit my little hands… i forgot how was my past like…. when i was their age… wat kind of road i have walked through.. wat had made me who i am today…… which big hands had hold my little hands when i was down…. those little hands now are growing… they r learning everything they get a grip on… with proper guidance… those little hands can grow up to be strong useful hands… doing the right thing… helping ppl… doing great things…. ^^

~ i miss those little hands… they seem happy n bubbly… ~

当我自己出门时,我都习惯了一定要戴ipod. 以前都看人家听,觉得还蛮酷的.听久了也已成了习惯. 有时已分不出到底是什么原因一定要封着耳朵听歌,与它隔离了. 戴上earphone之后,我就与世界分离了. 完全都听不到他们在谈什么,ringtone在响也听不到. 单以眼睛看完全是另一个角度. just by visualing without hearing its a total different perspective. what i hear is what i get. but without hearing it, i get to visualize from both point of view n analize. i may be wrong with wat happen, but at least i get the picture from both side n hearing helps make everything clearer.

到底大家的头脑都在想什么? 真的都在发呆吗? 头脑一片空白,在休息吗? 还是都和我一样在想大家在想什么. 在公车或LRT/KTM上面对面坐时,更是尴尬,不知望何处才好. 有时碰到对方的眼神,要笑问好又不是,不笑又不是……..懊恼.. 大概是这样有些才会选择睡觉吧.

当我飘浮在自己的世界里时,我仿佛就变了作家,在作取他们的故事. 看到年长者搭公车时,都会想出各种理由为何他们在此. 他们要去哪里? 孩子们不能陪伴吗?他们的故事又是如何的呢? 以前都是这样搭车的吗? 看到靓仔时,都会毫不犹豫的多看几眼. 哈哈! 有时会遇到些高贵人士. 黄金闪闪的,衣着不一般,站在那里也高高在上. 他们又是什么贵事来跟我们齐一番呢?

当我眼睛一闭上,我与它就脱离了关系. 纯粹沉淀在我的世界,融入我的歌里. 歌是高潮是低潮,都在我掌控中. 我是要开心要保持冷漠,都在一按之下. 当然,i got songs i prefer more, no matter its a happy tune or emo. 有时与它分离久了,我也会想与它谈谈心事,听它诉说它的一天.

~过于沉默在自己的世界里往往让你不想回来.~

For the past one week i’ve been working in a kindergarten called ‘Brain Dance’ kindergarten… it was my first week n it wasn’t easy at all… always ended up me dead snoozing away on my bed for the whole afternoon… wonder how am i gonna go work then go study tis week onwards…… sigh….

working arond little peoples have always been my interest.. since i’ve discover tat i cant talk n communicate well with older ppl.. or to say the adults.. even ppl my own age.. a close fren of mine said to me before tat… im easy to be fren with… but hard to maintain friendship with….. ^^ well.. its true… coz i’ve lost contact with all my primary skol frens.. secondary… n also form6…. except for those who’s in my church.. im trying real hard to maintain watever friendship i have now… n am new in tis.. so.. ^^

my first day at work had been confusing… there’s 16 children in my class… n there another 15-18 children in the other which i have to go over also… there’s 3 kids with the name Wei in my class.. Wei wen, wei an, wei lun… sometimes i get so confuse i called the wrong name n the child i called will always look at me innoccently… hahaha… apologization had been my speciality then..

after one week working there… i have to admit i already have some favouritism over a few of them… hahaha… one is kang rong who speaks english n is quite active.. he is always running around.. dissappearing somewhere… but he’s cute.. at times he would juz come over n manja me.. second one is wei an… he is damn cute… n he has 2 fav bears with him in his bag.. sometimes he would carry one of them… the bear’s name is sam sam… i like it when he talks.. n he looks so damn cute when he frown n says ‘huh?’ ^^ hehehe… he usually quite but he do participate at times… then there’s tis boy named nicholas… he is a chubby fella who is real talkative.. speaks english n is very cute… he has tis innocent face when teacher call his name… hahaha…

its been fun.. challenging at times when the little ones test ur patience n sometimes do or say something out of ur imagination….. mentally tired coz its noises throughout the whole morning… physically tired walking up n down… squarting here n there coming down to their level to talk to them.. going in n out bringing them to the toilet…. shouting here n there calling out for their names… carrying he or her when they cry for mommy… wow…. wat can i say.. its something i chose to do…n its them tat i cant run away from… the little ones….. sometimes ppl say the young ones r easier to handle than the old ones…. becoz we can control them n they r still young they learn faster… but one wrong move with the little ones may cost them their future… one wrong word spoken to them may influence their personality… one honest mistake may take away their life…………. ever tot of tat??

~a path tat i’ve chosen… u?~

当心情沉重我总是听些慢歌. 也就是些emo的歌. 大家都说这样是不好的, 当时候来到, 当伤心或不开心时, 这些歌都会陪伴在耳边. 他们说, 在情绪低潮的时候听这些歌会使心情更低落…..他们都说得对. 但对我来说, 这可以让我发泄…..

在许多曲子里, 有一些是我特别喜欢的歌及词….

回程的飞机  滑进了无边的天际
一样的天气  两种心情
装满回忆的行李  留在原地 
是爱的纪念品
这一趟旅行  写完了故事的结局 
没有惊叹句  没有疑问句
如果我不够坚定 喊出了你的名字 
打破沉默的僵局
我该说对不起  还是称心如意
我远远看着你  保持着安全的距离
从你眼睛  看不出你是否找到新恋情
那抹忧郁  刺痛着我  不可能忘记
我说服我自己  没有我你会更顺心
可能你已经  云淡风轻 
当我是个曾经 是不甘心 
还是依然爱着你
在告别之后让它随风去
记得我曾经那么爱着你

你说我对你紧紧跟随
你觉得疲惫
你一句话就 逼我撤退
我忍住眼泪 我尊重眼泪
孤独万岁　失恋无罪
谁保证　一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备
还不算太黑
爱不够爱你的人　才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃 不是在犯罪

转身走吧 没有必要再勉强
只是输给了一个诚实的谎话
你失望吗 我并不是你想象
剩下什么 可以用爱伪装
原谅不是唯一结束问题的回答
我真的开始怀疑 爱情的重量
终于 让我看穿了爱情
我明白这场游戏 输的五体投地
关于你布下的局
终于 我承认了我伤心
我确定把这回忆 抹的干干净净
收拾你的荒唐 然后离去
可不可以让自己逃离
用最后的力气

情绪很多 我很镇静
因为投入 所以放弃
不愿再被痛醒
固执算不算任性的要求
付出也可能看不到结果
终于你还是选择了放手
用逃避 让感情犯错
承诺算不算任性的要求
人总是不能太容易感动
当爱失去自我失去包容
只想要 从混乱解脱
不去碰触到我的需要

我要替你收集笑容
怕未来 快乐变得贵重
要是少了我 你有多寂寞
太阳不会放弃天空
哪怕你不再属於我
我会在不同的窗口 给你拥抱
我忘不掉 你第一次吻我

不要哭
你应该忘了他
别一再而再想着他说过就忘的话
不要哭
世界如此的大
不要因为一次的失败不敢再出发

~这是我的歌..你的呢?~

there goes another christmas…. how slow it came n how fast it went… tis year’s christmas was a bit different.. maybe it was becoz we’re more free… no christmas preparation.. no christmas presentation… no christmas dinner setting… well.. it was a simple christmas..

last few years.. when it comes to christmas.. everyone will be busy.. usually after youth camp.. then everyone will rush for christmas shopping, practices for christmas presentation, rehersal for christmas dinner, house to house caroling……. we always need to do alot….

but tis year.. we had nth to rush for… ^^ everything was easy going.. (except for the christmas shopping part.. super conjusted at the shopping malls.. n super broke tis year.. harder to find presents..) so.. wat we had was.. we went for caroling as usual.. but earlier… n tis time it wasn’t a house to house caroling.. we went to the old folks home.. funny experience we had there… one of it was.. we gave them organic biscuits.. one grandpa took the packet of biscuits n started biting at it.. eating it.. my gosh we were shock n stunned.. all his saliva were dripping non-stop n he wouldn’t let go of the packet…. haha.. we felt their loneliness also.. alot of us learn alot about them n we have heavy hearts when we leave them… then we had a christmas eve bbq party.. simple party juz to have fun n fellowship with one another… then its christmas day.. we had a special christmas service with a simple last minute presentation.. then we had a christmas buffet in church.. then.. we went off for baptism session.. congrats to joanne, may, yoke yeng, ricky n of coz.. our dear poh mien… then…….. tats it….

so.. me n my family decided to go out after tat since there’s no more programmes.. we went to the garden.. n guess wat… if u were there.. u’ll know wat im talking about….. super heavy traffic jam..!! all the carparks were full… we even try to go to the hotel’s jockey.. thinking since its christmas n we’re gonna be late for movie if we dun hurry find a parking space.. we’ll pay for the expensive parking fee lah…. so we jam our way to the hotel.. n its FULL..!! gosh.. we were like……. goodness.. even the expensive parking r all taken.. haha.. so we try our luck… n pray hard for parking space… hahah.. walah..!! rite in front of the mall entrance to the escalator.. one malay family were getting out… hehehe… hallelujah..!! hahahah…. so we were on time.. in fact.. we still have some extra time to take some pictures n popcorns… haha.. we watched the show bedtime stories.. it was very nice.. n the garden’s cinema….. super ‘chun’… haha.. so comfy n nice…

a simple christmas… as for the presents…. ^^ i got a few tat i really like it… thanks to PH.. (of coz i chose the present myself.. but its his first year buying…. ^^) i got a super damn nice earphones from him.. to Reuben.. thanks also.. the lollipop is so damn cute… i sayang lah nak makan… to SW… i always like notebooks tat r cute.. n the one u gave me.. totally love it..! thanks.. to CM… thanks for the bag… n i believe without the mickey head in front.. it totally looks like a real branded bag.. ^^ to kerryn,ma,michelle n grace… thanks for tat cute bag… totally dig it…! to CCF n Doi doi… thanks for the shirt… i like it…  but i have to say.. u guys never buy a correct thing for me de woh… hahahaha….. n thanks to my parents…. im gonna love tat gift..!!

n guess wat my bro gets…… a teleskope… a real wan…. a real exensive wan…!!!!

after a few failure attempt hunt for christmas gift.. the few of us me, PM, PH n ruben proceed to try again in mid valley… a place we have high hope for finding some cool sweet stuff for our frens… well… ended up……….. PH got a shirt for himself.. we chose it for him.. PM got a formal pants which she had been searching for very long.. quite expensive but worth it.. n which eventually became her christmas present from me too.. Me.. got 2 christmas present for ppl.. but seriously heavy blood pouring from my purse… aiks man..! n our dear Ruben.. well.. nth for himself n nth for others… hahahaha… -_-”

eventhough we din finish our mission therel.. we manage to catched up with each other again… ^^ we chit chat alot alot.. haha.. we can damn crap man.. haha.. all the stupid jokes.. n cold jokes juz make us non-stop laughing.. hahaha.. anyway.. some pics to show wat we did tat day..

:: a day out with frens… i guess frens r totally important to me.. wat do u think?___jo”~::

when i post up in facebook tat im happy today.. ppl asked me y.. there’s something i juz cant describe or to say tell it out… ^^ but indeed today was a happy day..

firstly i think becoz i was in my first ever worn Forever21 baju.. i never ever had bought n worn n forever 21 stuff.. not to say they r very good or wat.. but its my new blouse.. n im proud n happy bout it… hehe.. then we had a good service.. after lunch we set off to Hospital Tong Shin… an old folks home.. or to be exact.. a medical place for senior citizens.. hehe… we went there for caroling.. to spread the good news of God.. caroling is fun.. of coz it takes alot of hard work too.. we sang in 3 different floors n fellowship with the grandma n grandpa there.. seriously.. i do not have to courage to talk to them.. hehe.. i aint so good with old ppl.. n no words came out of me while with them… all i can do is to smile.. look.. see. support those who r talking to them.. help out here n there n learn.. hehe..

those senior citizens there r either physically or cognitively disable.. one of the grandpa scare me n fren to a shockness stage.. haha… we were giving out biscuits in packets.. the grandpa took n straight away he was chewing n ‘eating’ in a very violent way…. all his saliva was dripping on his hands n clothes.. the workers there came by n snatched it away from him n open it for him… haha.. still he juz gasak everything in his mouth.. biscuits was all over his face… ^^ a grandma touch me… to me she was the most healthy wan there… she can stand n walk by herself.. n she is very cheerful.. she keep on wearing a smile on her face… when i got to know more bout her… she actually misses her home alot.. which is in alor star.. also where i came from.. her children couldn’t take care of her becoz she had a stroke n they had to work.. so the only way is to pay money n send her here.. sigh… how sad rite… some were crying n crying saying they miss they child when they c us… one even took my fren as her daughter saying she looks like her.. hehe.. well.. they r lonely n they need love… all we can do is to care n spend time with them…. i felt so helpless there.. walking up n down couldnt do anything.. through tis trip.. we all know tat we did something meaningful today n touch their hearts too.. seeing their smile is like adding a trophy in our life….

well after tat me n my family went off to 1utama for a walk.. my mom had a reunion with her fren from alor star.. then we ate dinner at Shogun… i kept feeding myself with salmon n oyster… hehe… i also bought something tat i really like n needed… i bought an organizer.. its like a diary.. the difference is organizer can be reuse..

although im not a big fan of pink.. well its the only colour other than black tat i like there… the other wan is white… freaking nice but scare in half a year time dirty dy… so got tis pink wan… n u ask me y so freaking expensive… yup… i also think its so damn freaking expensive..its leather n it can be reuse from year to year.. so its worth it.. haha….

tis is something i like to do… so couldn’t get my eyes off it… juz bought it… hehe…^^

so its a happy day for me… cared for others n from others too…

:: its a happy day for me… how about u?___jo”~::